I miss you

Today was my dads birthday. For those who don't know me too well and are reading this,
my father passed away back in 2008. He passed away from an O.D of Oxy Cotton, mixed
with alcohol on June 27th. The years have been so hard to overcome. Sometimes I feel
overwhelmed with the amount of time that has just flown by right passed my eyes. If I ever
get a moment to just think, I feel like there's too much to even process sometimes. My brain
feels like an overload of memories, traumatic and happy. Even though those two differenciate in
extreme ways, there's still a little good in every day and or experience. That is what I have
learned. Im so thankful to have gone through this experience.. of losing someone. It sounds
so awful to say it but I really, really am thankful. In my future I will only have to go through it once,
and by then ill have little children of my own who I have to be strong for-- and I know I will be
able to be strong for them if I am as strong as I am now when Im merely a kid.. I was such a
stubborn little brat before he passed away. I was always getting into no good.. I didnt try in
school, I was into marijuana and alcohol.. and look at me now. A clean slate and happy..
majority of the time. If something drastic didn;t happen, my views and morals wouldn;t have
been twisted. They're more into a logical perspective now.. I know this isn't exactly
telling about my day but it's still feelings that I wish to put down in my blog.. It may be boring
for you but it's nice for me to look back to. If anyone has been through something similar to
this please try to think of it in my way.. it helps so much.

I ended up working today. I got called in early. My original shift was 3-7, but I was called
into work at 2. My manager has been working way too many hours so she's trying to get rid of
as many possible so that usually goes back to me or sean. I wish I could see Sacha and Clarissa
more. Im always stuck with bonehead. :) Haha just kidding.. but yeah it would be nice to have some
girl talk instead of talking about... boy stuff with sean. Oh well, what more could I ask for? He's
company so thats that. I just cant wait until I get paid, muahaha.

Ciao :)